unny stuff from Genesis and by Genesis
Here are a few words of wizdom (pun intended) brought to you courtesy of the Genesis oldtimer admin Tintin.This document is written so that all you losers out there will know what subjects to avoid, thereby saving your pretty little piglet hides from burns and blisters.
Complaint: I was unfairly killed on XXX Mud
Response: Hahahaha! Serves you right you snivelling little idiot.
Complaint: The admins on XXX Mud are fascists.
Response: Of course. It takes kevlar improved elephant skin, the sensitivity of a rhino, and a mind that is a cross between Kafka, Stalin and the Marx brothers to successfully run a mud. All the nice sissies have been weeded out long ago.
Complaint: Anything about mudsex
Response: We don't care if you wank lengthwise or crosswise, but please don't do it in public. It's not considered polite. Also it hurts so badly if the flames incinerate your private parts.
Complaint: Get a Real Life (TM)
Response 1: I already have one, and believe me, it sucks.
Response 2: Why should I get something you can only dream of?
Complaint: XXX Mud is down
Response: For goodness sake, it's only been down for an hour. Stop shaking.
Complaint: All mudders are losers
Response: Well, it's a comfort that there are worse losers. You are a superloser for
- a) stating the obvious,
- b) wasting your time on combatting such a miserable lot,
- c) generally being a dork.
- b) wasting your time on combatting such a miserable lot,
Complaint: Send me quest solutions to XXX Mud
Response: You poor bastard. Your fascist admin has read your note, and he will torture your character with all sorts of devoius methods until you go away. Please see 'Fascist admins' above.
Complaint: My school has prohibited playing muds
Response: Computer admins are a sort of mud admin, only with the mud taken away. Please see 'Fascists admins' above.
Complaint: I demand my rights
Response 1: You have the right to remain silent. If you give up this right,anything you say can and will be used to flame you.
Response 2: Your rights, chinese style are to be shot in the back of the head,and then owe the state 50 cents for the bullet. Be thankful for what you have.Did I say that the chinese government would make good mud admins?
Complaint: Here are the quest solutions to XXX Mud
Response: Oh, you cunning little runt. You thought you could get back at the admins for removing you. This gives the admin much opportunity for fun and games. It's simple to modify every quest so that your solutions lead to death traps. The people who solve the quests themselves go unscathed. I bet your mailbox will be flooded with angry mails. (A devious and underemployed admin will post quest solutions himself.)
Complaint: I can't compile XXX Mud on YYY machine
Response: You megalomaniac amoeba, you don't have the simple skills required to bring up a mud on a box. How do you ever expect to run it. You can't instill fear in wizards and players if you can't even get their respect.
Complaint: I have a Real Life (TM)
Response: Ha! You wouldn't know what a real life was, even if it popped in between you and the screen, kissed you and brought you home. (Home, btw, is a place where people live. It differs from a lab in the fact that there are normally no computers there.)
Complaint: Am I a loser?
Response: Yes. Since you have to ask, you are most certainly one. You can be one even if you don't ask, but it isn't 100% certain.
Complaint: Tiny style muds are the best
Response: There is nothing you can do with with a Tiny style mud that couldn't easily be done with an other system. The reason you prefer Tiny muds is that you happend to find your type of morons there. If you go to a diku you will find an other type of moron. Isn't it nice with good company?
Complaint: Could you fill in this form for me?
Response: Not another shitty social science assignment. There should be a ready report for people to fetch by ftp. It would save a lot of trouble.
